I've always had this dream I will study in Oxford one day. The first time I went to Oxford I was only 8. And I fell in love with Oxford immediately. Ever since that day, I often have this visual I will be carrying books, heading to lectures, walking pass historical buildings, with green environment by my side and flowers every where. Yes, at the age of 36, I still hold on to that dream.
I took me some time before finally deciding to continue my Masters. Since I can't really afford to study abroad just yet, opted for university that has campus in Malaysia. Applied for few local unis as well and got accepted into 4. One of them was Manchester Business School. Yes, I got the shock of my life when I received the offer letter. Never thought I get accepted to such prestigious school, perhaps, I need to manage my self confidence better.
So, 1st semester passed and just got my results last night. Not too happy with the results, passed but not good enough for me. But if I do reality check, I deserve this results. I hardly study and all my 4 assignments were done few days before the submission date. It's a no brainer for me to get that kind of results. Let's not pretend I am shocked, poyolah!
If I nag to my kids every time their results are not up to mark or declining, it's time for me to start nagging to myself. I deserve more nagging than my kids. 1st question I need to ask myself, do I really want this, do I really want to go to Oxford. If the answer is yes, then I better start to buck up, otherwise the next semester results are gonna be somewhat the same. 2nd question I need to ask myself, do I really want to let myself spend so much money just to fail. Perhaps I should start putting on the board of my study corner the amount I have paid so far. That's my own hard earned money, not subsidised by any party. Money which I can use for my kids education, but I chose to spend on mine. Must always remind myself.
I need to decide. The choice is all mine....