I am a detailed person and a planner. Both are my strongest point. I look into things line by line and I live by check lists. As the matter of fact, I have check lists for everything. I am a strong believer of planning. I love planning. I love coordinating, hence why I love doing events. I love connecting the dots. That s what keeps me going.
However, I am beginning to learn and trying to accept the higher I climb the ladder, the less detailed person I will be, even now I am getting less and less detailed which frankly speaking, I totally hate it. I love that I am detailed and I love that I am hands on in many things. Just that with the current workload on my plate I need to accept, I can't do everything as much as I want to.
Before this I am ok to go for meetings by myself and come back with information to be disseminated to the rest. But now, running from meeting to another I must confess I don't have the luxury to send a recap email like I always do. Even if I did, it will be few days later. And I hate this kind of inefficiency I am portraying.
I know, I am killing myself in setting such high expectations. Something that I need to overcome. I have been working like this for the longest time and doing things by myself is something I am used to. Now, I need to convert to a delegator, which what I have been doing, just in a smaller scale. Now, I need to expand the delegating and let go...
So far, I am making good progress *clap clap*. I begin to bring my team for meetings and they will then take it on and trigger me only something pressing that requires my attention. Don't get me wrong, I trust my team completely, this is just something I need to deal with. It's part of my development.
Deep in my heart, I am afraid I will loose the "being detailed" skill, I don't want to loose the skill in coordinating. Therefore, I know there will still be things I want to be involved in end-to-end. Just that I need to prioritise which projects that allow me to "continue practising" this skill.
It's not easy, but Insyallah it'll be easier...And I have a great team who are also helping to make it easier and grooming me to be a better leader. Alhamdulilah....