I just came back from sending Baby to her tuition class. One of the question Baby always asked me is why am I not old like other people's mom. I know what she meant. During any of her school events, or at PIBG meeting, I often get comments from her friends or teachers or other parents on how young I am. That happens more frequent if I go to Mira's school since Mira is 15 therefore I am expected to be older like other parents who have kids my age.
No, it's not because I awet muda, or even the effect of anti aging cream I am using (which reminds me, esok nak kena beli new bottle since the current one dah nak habis, nanti habis kerepot muka tak pakai cream). It's more because I got married at a young age therefore gave birth while I was young too.
Yes, I got married at the age of 21 (technically 20 as I got married 6 months before my 21st birthday). It was not an easy decision, not only to me, it was harder for my parents to accept. However, I know my better half is the right one for me so I proceed even to the dismay of my Abah and Mummy. Alhamdulilah, after nearly 16 years of marriage, my better half takes care of me really well. Even my Abah told me, he don't think anyone else can tahan living with me.
I must say, it's not easy. In fact, it was really hard. First few years of our marriage, life was really tough, both financially and emotionally. Dating someone and finally living with them is not the same at all. You begin to see sides you never seen before, which I think are mostly my ugly sides my better half did not know before he lafaz Aku Terima Nikahnya.
I was only 22 when I delivered Mira, 23 when I have Ilham and by the time I was 25, before I know it, I have 3 kids, delivered Baby 2 years after Ilham. While I see my friends enjoying life, going to concerts, parties and socialising, I was battling with diapers, sleepless nights, working and cleaning our home in between. Knowing we can't afford a maid, made it even tougher. I am blessed with a husband who helps me and making all this manageable.
I have no experience whatsoever taking care of babies. I remembered when I had to bath Mira for the first time, I freaked out. She was so tiny, I was so afraid I will drop her or even hurt her. What if while I bath her she slips and fell into the basin. And hundreds of other what if ran through my mind.
Nevertheless, I enjoy being a mom very much. It gives me loads of satisfaction knowing both of us raised our kids when they were smaller all by ourselves. I hardly can participate in any social activities. Even if I want to and plan it carefully, if one of my babies fell sick, all plans will change. I must admit, at times I just want to get away and run to somewhere I can be just by myself. What I usually did, take a half or full day off, buy a good book and sit at one quiet corner and read. Cheap and satisfying. Money was really limited back then, so spa, pedicure or manicure or facial was never an option.
Alhamdulilah, everything turn out well so far. Long journey to go but things look really promising. Kids are bigger (and now have different set of problems so never say "anak2 ko dah besar, senanglah", when they were smaller, it's different challenges, when the get bigger, that's another set of challenges) and I am still energetic to handle them and keeping up with their active life. As our age gap is not that huge compared to other parents, many things they do I can understand and now how to relate to them. We listen to similar kind of music (except for Mira who has yet to exit from her kpop phase, I love her so much but no way I can accept her kpopness), we can speak the same language. I am so thankful and blessed for all this.
Berakit-rakit ke hulu,
Berenang-renang ke tepian,
May Allah continue to protect and bless us. May this happiness stays till Jannah..Amin...
Nota tapak hati *chewah* ~ About a month before our 16th Anniversary. Moga Allah terus memberkati.