Married Young

I just came back from sending Baby to her tuition class. One of the question Baby always asked me is why am I not old like other people's mom. I know what she meant. During any of her school events, or at PIBG meeting, I often get comments from her friends or teachers or other parents on how young I am. That happens more frequent if I go to Mira's school since Mira is 15 therefore I am expected to be older like other parents who have kids my age.

No, it's not because I awet muda, or even the effect of anti aging cream I am using (which reminds me, esok nak kena beli new bottle since the current one dah nak habis, nanti habis kerepot muka tak pakai cream). It's more because I got married at a young age therefore gave birth while I was young too. 

Yes, I got married at the age of 21 (technically 20 as I got married 6 months before my 21st birthday). It was not an easy decision, not only to me, it was harder for my parents to accept. However, I know my better half is the right one for me so I proceed even to the dismay of my Abah and Mummy. Alhamdulilah, after nearly 16 years of marriage, my better half takes care of me really well. Even my Abah told me, he don't think anyone else can tahan living with me.

I must say, it's not easy. In fact, it was really hard. First few years of our marriage, life was really tough, both financially and emotionally. Dating someone and finally living with them is not the same at all. You begin to see sides you never seen before, which I think are mostly my ugly sides my better half did not know before he lafaz Aku Terima Nikahnya. 

I was only 22 when I delivered Mira, 23 when I have Ilham and by the time I was 25, before I know it, I have 3 kids, delivered Baby 2 years after Ilham. While I see my friends enjoying life, going to concerts, parties and socialising, I was battling with diapers, sleepless nights, working and cleaning our home in between. Knowing we can't afford a maid, made it even tougher. I am blessed with a husband who helps me and making all this manageable. 

I have no experience whatsoever taking care of babies. I remembered when I had to bath Mira for the first time, I freaked out. She was so tiny, I was so afraid I will drop her or even hurt her. What if while I bath her she slips and fell into the basin. And hundreds of other what if ran through my mind.

Nevertheless, I enjoy being a mom very much. It gives me loads of satisfaction knowing both of us raised our kids when they were smaller all by ourselves. I hardly can participate in any social activities. Even if I want to and plan it carefully, if one of my babies fell sick, all plans will change. I must admit, at times I just want to get away and run to somewhere I can be just by myself. What I usually did, take a half or full day off, buy a good book and sit at one quiet corner and read. Cheap and satisfying. Money was really limited back then, so spa, pedicure or manicure or facial was never an option.

Alhamdulilah, everything turn out well so far. Long journey to go but things look really promising. Kids are bigger (and now have different set of problems so never say "anak2 ko dah besar, senanglah", when they were smaller, it's different challenges, when the get bigger, that's another set of challenges) and I am still energetic to handle them and keeping up with their active life. As our age gap is not that huge compared to other parents, many things they do I can understand and now how to relate to them. We listen to similar kind of music (except for Mira who has yet to exit from her kpop phase, I love her so much but no way I can accept her kpopness), we can speak the same language. I am so thankful and blessed for all this.

Berakit-rakit ke hulu,

Berenang-renang ke tepian,

Bersakit-sakit dahulu,

Bersenang-senang kemudian...

May Allah continue to protect and bless us. May this happiness stays till Jannah..Amin...

Nota tapak hati *chewah* ~ About a month before our 16th Anniversary. Moga Allah terus memberkati.

Signing off,

liza365.blogspot.com

In Economics, it's known as opportunity costs

In the morning while driving to work, I love listening to radio. I don't really have preferred radio stations, it depends on my mood. When I am feeling youung and hyper, I will tune to Flyfm or Hitzfm. When I'm feeling a bit relaxed, I listen to Mixfm. And when I am in my better half's car, I am forced to listen to Sinarfm. That is a separate entry all together.

Today, Mixfm is the choice. And every morning they have different topic they speak about. Today, the topic is have you pawned anything in your life. This topic brings back a memory, or more specific a good experience in life.

It's not a secret, the first few years of our marriage was really tough. Not only trying to get used to each other(when you are courting and when you are married to the ma you are courting, trust me it's not the same), the main constraint was financial. Making ends meet was really tough challenge.

I remembered after I delivered Ilham, the finance situation got worse. Since we were at this stage of trying to proof ourselves to our parents, showing we are independent, asking help from them was never an option. After all, my parents were against me getting married at young age. Diapers, milk formula, babysitter to name a few costs that we need to consider. We fought a lot, perhaps due to tremendous pressure. At times, I cried in the middle of the night looking at my kids sleeping, wishing I can give them a better life.

Come to a point, a week before salary day, we were totally broke. Main reason was due to our car insurance and road tax have expired and that cost us a bomb! We have to spend most of our money to cover for that and we only have diapers and formula to cover 3 days. Imagine my worry, what do I feed my precious the next 4 days.

I have no choice and have to do what I need to do. I pawned my wedding and engagement rings to get some cash. Those items are important to me, but not as important as my kids. They are my life. When I asked my better half for permission, he didn't agree. I know he felt bad for making me going through this hardship. I kept on reminding him, we're in this together! (tiba2 teringat lagu High School Musical, *singing -We're all in this together* ok Liza snap!)

We managed to get some cash and I was relieved to be able to get the supply for my kids.The day salary was out, the first thing my better did was to get the rings back. He went straight to the pawn shop in Sungei Way and pay every single cent for it.

Those were the days. Yes, life was tough but I believe that made me the person I am. Those kind of experience made me different from everyone else. I value money more and I know I worked very hard to get every single ringgit I earned. And I save a lot. I am not a compulsive buyer and most of my money are either in the bank or spend them for my kids. Occassionally, we spend for family vacations. Branded stuff is really rare occassion.

And the best thing is, this experience made our marriage much more stronger. We have been through a lot over the years, and that make us love and appreciate each other more....

Of course, in Economics, this experience is called Opportunity costs, susah2 dahulu. Senang2 kemudian....

Alhamdulilah, semua kejadian ada hikmah nya.

Have an awesome day peeps!

Signing off,

liza365.blogspot.com