The Fastest 3 Months

And the day has finally arrive. The day I have to return to work after 90 days of maternity leave. The day I definitely don't look forward to.

Mothers who went through this would know how it feels. And to find a trusted babysitter is a huge challenge after reading all the horror stories on the news. I don't know how my day will be tomorrow but definitely it will be filled thinking about Isyraf. What is he doing,  has he had his milk, can Papa console him when he cries. Will he sleep well. And thousands of other questions popping up in my mind. Sigh....

I am lucky though. I get to be on flexi working arrangement. So I get to rotate with my better half to take care of Isyraf ie no daycare for him. Ideally, I would want to be the one taking care of him 24/7. However, that option is not available now, so I better be grateful with the current option I have in hand.

I know many would say I'lI be bored staying at home. I have one secret to tell you.  I am not an ambitious person career wise. I just want to be good in what I do and give my all when I am in that position. However, if it comes to a point I have the option to leave and focus on my family,  I am not afraid to let everything go. I know my priorities and I am not chasing to climb up the corporate ladder. I don't want to miss important phase of my children's life cause I am too busy working. Those moments will not come again. Moments like their first step, word and other part of them growing up, there's no repeat. None!

IInsyallah, the opportunity for me to stay at home and focus on my family and this will also allow my better half to focus on his business will come eventually. I believe. ..

Need to be mentally prepared for tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Life After Isyraf

After 14 years of the last pregnancy, it feels like the first one. Someone told me it's like riding a bike, that person lied. Handling a baby is nothing like that at all. And yes, that's life after Isyraf came to our world.

When I got to know I am pregnant, the whole family was excited. Especially Baby who have been bagging me for a little brother for the last 3 to 4 years. One time she got upset when I told her no, we are not having any. And she said "Am I part of this family, why am I not consulted".

We got to know I am pregnant during last year's Ramadhan. And when I had my first check up, it was 5th day of Raya. The whole family went including my Abah and Mummy. It was a wonderful news for us, everyone just want to be part of it.

That moment, Isyraf had already changed our life. We were excited to welcome him. My better half however not wanting for us to prepare too early. Though he said "tunggulah, ada orang bagi hadiah nanti" deep down inside he just don't want to jinx it. I am above 35 and it can be high risk pregnancy so he just want to take care of me and making sure both Isyraf and I are doing well.

The moment we welcome Isyraf in our world, things changed so much. Isyraf is one lucky baby. He is love by everyone around him especially his brother and sisters to the point that they are spoiling him. He makes any sound no matter how tiny the sound is, the sibblings started running to him to make sure he is alright. When he cries, everyone wants to carry and console him. When we go out to the mall, all four(yes, my better half included) rushing to push his stroller. When he cries for milk, no one ever complain they have to stop what they do and make milk for him. Bath time is the best. Everyone will help to prepare his clothes, bath cream and powder as well as his diapers. Then it's like an unofficial family gathering where they just sit and watch I give him a bath.

Yes, life has changed for us. When we go out, it's not like before where we just go. We have to prepare Isyraf's bag, make sure we brought hot water in thermos, enough supply of diapers and wet tissues, extra clothes among other items. We also quite selective where we go. Kids will do research to make sure the place is baby friendly. When we eat if Isyraf is not sleeping, we take turns to look after him. Alhamdulilah, so far when we go out Isyraf behaves well and we get to have our meals together.

Isyraf has definitely changed our life for the better. There's so much love at home, so much laughter, fun and happiness. I could not ask for more. Alhamdulilah....

I am forever thankful for all the blessings....

The entrepreneur blood in him

For those who knows me, would know how I love to be involved in business. I just love doing transactions and earning income from this. I have been doing this since I was in school. When there's opportunity arise, if possible, I will grab it.

When my better half shared his passion more than 10 years ago to open his own business, I fully support that. My better half works hard and very creative. He will do well doing his own project. Yes, employment provides security however, self employment if done right and if you are lucky provide security and satisfaction. I must say, however, it's not easy.

After saving money for 10 years, he finally got the courage to open his own mini market. He intentionally open it in Simpang Renggam, Johor so he can also share this opportunity with his sister and her husband. After working with one company for more than 20 years, he tendered his resignation after Raya last year. Some may not see it yet, but I believe it's the best decision he has ever made.

 It has been good Alhamdulilah however not all smooth sailing. Issues with manpower (not so much about the number of person he needs, more on trust), time management, vendors among others filling up his days. Yes, some may say it's nice to be your own boss, however, when you are an entrepreneur, you are not only your own boss, you are also your own kuli.

There are good days, there are bad days. As his wife, I give him fullest support. I want to see him succeed so whatever I can do, I will do it.

And today, he has expanded from mini market to also being distributors for kerepek. He started that more than 2 weeks ago, Alhamdulilah, the outcome has been overwhelming. He manages his time between the mini market, collecting kerepek from supplier, packing it, taking orders and delivering it. I can see he is tired but his determination amazed me.

What I can say to the ecosystem of new entrepreneurs, if you can't make it easier on them, please don't make it harder than it is. Especially for those who have just started, we should understand if they are not able to make time for you. The least you can do is to try and schedule whatever events around their schedule. And please don't think they are trying to be arrogant. They are not, they are just trying to gain back the capital they spent to start the business.

My better half is an amazing man. He tries very hard to make everyone happy that I feel sometimes people are just taking advantage of him. I know he tries very hard to balance everything, some people tend to forget he is just human after all. And as his wife, I hate to see his heart gets broken and to see the sadness in his eyes. Unfortunately, I am not as forgiving as he is. I feel like, you mess with him, you mess with me and I take longer time to be healed.

Enough of that. So, call for action for this entry :

1. If you are in Simpang Renggam area, drop by Azman Hamzah Mini Market. Get your groceries there as well as other household supplies. If you want to know the location, like Azman Hamzah Mini Market Facebook.

2. If you want to buy kerepek and consume it immediately or want to order for Raya, just call or whatsapp him at 0196976174. He offers many types of kerepek at very competitive price. And if the order is alot, he will deliver it himself for free to certain areas in Klang Valley.

Thanks everyone for your support. My better half has been working very hard all his life providing good life for us, this is his time to do what he loves the most. It's his time to shine and I know he will be a huge success.

And to all homo sapiens out there, related or not related to us, try not to have ill feeling when you see others are doing well. And don't step on them when you see them falling. Allah is great. What goes around comes around. If you want to succeed as well, work hard towards it. Don't build your success by taking people down. Rezeki di tangan Allah, bukan di tangan manusia...

Closing statement, jangan lupa order kerepek suami saya!

I am a great mom and let me tell you why!

I don't understand the whole fiasco about we can't celebrate Mother's Day. Since I can remember, I always get or make something for my mom on Mother's Day. Since her birthday is somewhere near that day, we also have good meals together. Like a double celebration. Yes, true, everyday is Mother's Day. However, imagine this...

On Mother's Day, when all Mother's around you get gifts and you don't, how does that make you feel. Yeah yeah yeah, of course your children love you so much however, deep down inside, of course you want them to show it. And Mother's Day is one way for them to show their appreciation. So, please enough of this "Every day we need to appreciate our mother" talk. We all know that. And by adding one special day, it doesn't kill anyone.

Coming back to why I think I'm a great mom.

Well, going through pregnancy (and one of it was full of complications, frequent bleeding) would be one proof. Carrying a child while trying very hard for that not to affect your daily life is not easy. Sticking to all the routine while trying to make sure you eat right, maintain your health and take care of your other children can be tough. My recent pregnancy, I was diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure. I need to make sure not only I take care of my health, also remember if I don't it will harm the baby. At the same time, other components of life go on. Business as usual...

Then comes the day to deliver a child to this world. Alhamdulilah, all my 4 kids were delivered normally. Isyraf's delivery almost require C-Sect however, it turned out to be normal despite all the pre delivery complications. And his was the less terrifying thanks to epidural. Why was I so dump not to have that for the first 3 delivery. It doesn't make me less of a mother. Like a friend told me, it was invented for a reason, to help us women endure the pain. Don't feel bad about using it, cause there will be other type of pain being a woman...I am glad I followed that advise when I delivered Isyraf. It makes delivery less scary and I am not afraid to go through it again #eh

To me raising children is the toughest of all. It's an emotional roller coaster experience. Happy, sad, scared, worried and if I am "lucky" all that feelings came at one time. Every stage of my kids' life come with different type of challenges. When they were small (Isyraf's current stage) we just have to deal with the fevers, coughing and all the normal babies and toddlers sickness. Managing own heart attack every time they fall and bleed, every time we need to take them to be stitched, every time we see their school or day care number appearing on our phone screen. When they get food allergies....and many more other stuff. Not forgetting when they throw tantrum in public and we try our very best to discipline them. Yes, that too

And of course the moment they enter teenage years, the stage where potentially "I hate you Mama" period. Where we try to give them freedom at the same time controlling them. A very fine line there and extremely difficult juggling act. Trying to understand their latest craze, what are they into. Understanding their problems and issues, which usually are small but the way they reacted as if world is going to end. Listening to all this after a long day at work and you just got scolded by your boss and went through a bad day in the office. But, you can't tell them you think their problems are not big, they will think you don't understand them. Not easy and I am still learning.

So after all this, regardless what people say, I know I am a great mom. I am there for my kids, through their sickness, hugging them when they feel the whole world hates them just because one friend refused to speak to them, listening to their stories every time they come home from school, attending their sports events, concerts, competitions and many more. Telling them I am proud of them no matter what.

To all moms out there, never let idiotic judgmental people make you feel like you're a bad mom. You went through a lot to raise your kids. What do they know. They don't live your life.

The next time some people judge the way you raise your kids or manage your family, just turn to them and smile and say thank you and then just walk away. This people don't deserve your attention at all.

Happy Mother's Day everyone. You are an awesome mom and nevet let people let you think otherwise!