I started working after giving birth to Isyraf about 2 months ago. I tried my best to juggle my life with this new responsibility. I'm no longer mother of 3, I'm now mother of 4. To be specific, 3 teenagers and 1 baby. And I must confess it's hard.
Yes, I'm lucky and grateful my employer allows me to be on flexible working arrangements. That of course, helped. However for those who have or are now working from home will know it's not as easy as what other's think. That is another story for another time...
However, off late I feel like I'm failing as a mom. I feel tired easily and not diligent in my role as a mom, the most important role at all. Few days ago, Ilham nearly missed school cause I can't wake up in the morning, woke up at 7.15am instead of my normal 5am. Our house is in a mess, since we came back from UK I did not review my kids homework. I tried cooking good dish, however I feel I cooked like c**p. I can just pray things don't get any worse.
I don't know what is getting into me. I'm glad my better half is supporting me a lot. This week he woke up at night to feed Isyraf cause he saw how tired I am (he said I snore in my sleep, that shows how tired I am) and tak sampai hati nak kejut.
Motherhood is the most important part of my life. Nothing is more important than that. Taking care of my family is my top priority. Nothing beats that. My better half said I'm being hard on myself, I don't think so. I really feel I'm not doing enough.
Am I getting sloppy at my number 1 job? Am I getting less competent? Have I lost it?
Maybe I just can't multitask anymore. Maybe I should..........
Have a great weekend everyone!