Saturday, April 19, 2014

It's been almost a year and I am still holding on to my dream.

Yes, that's how long it is since I last blogged. It's been that long, not that anyone have noticed. I can give thousand and one excuses for not doing it. Work, study, motherhood yada yada yada....But, the truth is, I lose focus and lost sense of prioritisation.

I always categorise myself as I-don't-give-a-s**t-what-people-think-of-me kind of person. I still am, that is why I live my life the way I want it. My parents may not like this all the time, I understand their concern, who would not want to normal daughter. But over the years, I guess family make compromise and this is the compromise they made. After all, I am a good and responsible daughter (YES, I AM!)

I love to dream and I encourage my kids to dream. And by dreaming is dream big! Dream something beyond our wildest dream, beyond wildest imagination and boundaries. But must always work hard to achieve it, by dreaming alone just don't cut it.

I consider my kids to be from a well to do family compared to how I was as a child. But that is never an excuse for them not to work hard. They need to earn what they deserve. Despite some might feel "untunglah, lahir keluarga kaya", I have a different opinion on this. I know many friends who were born super filthy rich and worked super hard day and night though they don't have to. And I know many who were from poor family but just refused to work hard and just wait for things to happen for them, waiting for all the aids to come and help them, the entitlement mentality. Due to this, I don't judge and I don't stereotype. I've seen fair share of both so unfair for me to make my own assumptions.

Anyway, I go to UK once a year (with our own hard earned money ok!) but thus trip is different. Maybe because finally I am completing my Master, something I started and still finding hard to believe I am ending this journey soon. I gave a long clear thought and I need to go back to my dream and my passion. What I believe in. What I want in life and I must continue to work hard to achieve it. As always, ignore the noise around me saying "nak buat apa", "tak payahlah" "gaji besar, bolehlah", whaever.

And I am reminded what matter the most in my life, the man I married almost 17 years ago and my 3 kids. These are the people who have been with me through thick and thin. These are the people who picked me up when I fell, wiped my tears and shared my joy. These people who know how hard I worked, the sleepless nights, meals skipped. And they of all people have the right to claim from me. So time for me to set things straight and remind myself what matters and what don't.

So here I am with the new renewed determination and energy. Yes, they will always be non believers who challenge and criticise in the name of giving opinions, exercising their rights, sharing views whatever they want to call it. I must start exercising my selective hearings from now on and focus on things that matter. ONLY!

As I made my journey home, I am thankful for all the blessings Allah has given me. I many not have the same start as some friends (It's not their fault they are born in well to do family, how can we blame them for that) but I think I am doing pretty well. I don't make this as excuses to achieve what I want to achieve as opposed to some people I know who felt they deserve this and that from whomever. So, the starting line don't really matter to me cause we chart our own journey. Can we say with conviction to those who were born not so fortunate but choose to wait for good things to happen to them and blame them for their so called "laziness" the same way we blamed the other camps who were born rich but still choose to work hard.

So here's to charting our own future, dengan izin Allah of course....

And here's to me continue to blog, and sustain it :)

1 comment:

Nurhayati said...

yang penting akak bahagia ape yg akak buat. jgn lupa update blog selalu. hehehe